Overcoming social anxiety is hard.
Let me correct myself…
Overcoming social anxiety is next to impossible if you don’t have the right advice. If you suffer with anxiety knowing the most common mistakes can really make a difference when changing this part of your life.
When you don’t watch out for these mistakes you’ll repeat them over and over again, and never realize you’re doing them. Once you get the right foundation on how to overcome social anxiety you move forward in the right direction. You’ll know where you went wrong when you get a setback.
In short, not only are these nine mistakes, they are also nine tips on how to be more successful in overcoming social anxiety.
Save them in your computer or print it out so you can always refer back to it.
So without further ado here are the nine mistakes:
#1 Seeking Approval
You might feel the need to get approval from the people around you. Once you start getting approval you can start to overcome social anxiety more and more…Right? Nope, this is one of those things that works backwards. If people see that you DON’T need their approval they are most likely going to give it. They won’t treat you “nice” because you are openly showing weakness. You have to be street smart when it comes to social anxiety.
#2 “Needing” Friends Too Much
Learn the ultimate rule of negotiations…if you need something really badly you’re going to get a bad deal. When you need something A LOT you’ll probably do anything to get it…Especially if you have shyness and anxiety against you. You’re going to end up with unappreciative friends, friends who will take you for granted.
#3 Only Sticking To One Group Of Friends
The best thing to do is try to make friends in different groups. The worst thing you can do is rely on only one set of friends. When all your effort is put into one group of people and it fails you’re going to suffer a big blow to your confidence.
#4 Having Zero Boundaries
Think of all the things others have done to upset you. Make a list and commit to yourself that you will not accept those things in your life. Don’t let it happen more than once with a person. That’s the rule, don’t let it happen more than once. Boundaries is what creates strong character.
#5 Withdrawing From Set-Backs
Have you ever encountered a set-back or a failure and decided to quit? A set-back or “failure” is in reality a challenge. When something gets challenging just stick to it a little more to get the experience.
#6 Staying Away From People You Envy
The people you envy have what you want. A better social life. You can either envy them from a distance and secretly think bad of them; or you can be friends with them. These people will become your best friends if you approach them nicely.
#7 Staying At Home
Making yourself step out of the house regularly will help you condition yourself to the outside social environment. Examples of places you can go is the library, the mall or even better volunteer groups. This gets you into a momentum of being in social environments. But make sure not to lose a 1-2 times a week rhythm because once you stop your mind will get lazy.
#8 Being A Conformist
When you try too hard to fit in it stands out in a negative way. It says that you are seeking approval. It’s actually ok to have a different opinion or style than others. The mistake is agreeing with everything others have to say at the risk of looking like you’re different. As you start to get better and better at overcoming social anxiety this will become easier to do.
And finally the last one:
#9 Being Too Cautious
At some point you’re gona have to take a leap of faith and stand in the fire so-to-speak, take the heat…even if it’s just a little bit. When you’re suffering from anxiety being socially cautious is in your nature. But being overly cautious is what keeps you from ever overcoming it.
If you find yourself not being able to overcome anxiety it usually relates back to one of these points.