Although it may not seem like it at the time, you do eventually get over breakups. Everyone hates going through it, and no one wants to go through it, but it most likely will happen to everyone some day. It could be something you’ve done that caused the breakup, something the other person has done, or maybe it’s a mutual agreement. No matter who’s doing it was, it’s still hard, especially if it was a long and serious relationship.
While breaking up with someone is hard to do in general, there are the right and wrong ways to do it. You might expect that the most respectable way would to do it calmly, just the two of you alone, and let’s not forget doing it in person, face to face. But, unfortunately, not everyone does that.
To bring a little light to the topic of breakups, I thought I would share some of the worst ways to break up with someone. Okay, so maybe that won’t bring that much light to the topic, but it’s still worth a shot.
Over the Phone
So this might be the most obvious one, but still one of the truest to me. Maybe, just quite possibly, if it was a shorter relationship and wasn’t that serious, there could be a chance you could get away with doing it over the phone without the other person being that hurt over it, but for the most part, I would suggest to stay away from the phone during this situation. Ending your relationship over the phone, especially if it was a serious relationship, might make the other person think that you didn’t really care that much about your relationship in the first place, and if you’re not looking to seriously hurting their feelings, then that’s not the way to do things.
On An Important Date
If it’s their birthday, or maybe even Valentine’s Day, I would say to not do it on an important day. If you break up with someone on an important day, then every time that day rolls around, they’ll think of you and the way you broke up with them. I don’t think anyone wants to spend their birthday thinking about the way someone ended things with them. That’s the day they’re supposed to have fun and celebrate themselves, so no one wants that to be ruined for them.
If you break up with someone based on something you heard, then that is definitely not the right way to go about things. If you’ve heard a rumor of them, that that were, for example, cheating on you, the best thing to do would be to ask them directly and get the whole story before you make big decisions. Ending a relationship based on what you heard without getting the other person’s input could make you end up wondering and regretting it later on.
You might think that bringing that person to a restaurant where there are plenty of people around is the best way to break up with them because you think they won’t get mad or upset in front of other people. That’s where you’re dead wrong. Even though you are in public, you can’t assume that the person is going to stay calm and collected when you break up with them because there are people around. For the most part, after receiving news like that, there’s a chance they couldn’t care less about what people think. If they start crying and getting upset or getting angry with you, then you’re the one who will end up embarrassed because then people will know you are the reason that person reacted the way they did. It’s better to get yelled at in private than in public, wouldn’t you agree?
Don’t Beat Around The Bush
Be straightforward and honest. No, you don’t have to purposefully hurt their feelings (although that’s bound to happen anyway) but don’t try to explain it to them to make them feel better. If you do that, they might get the wrong message and maybe won’t understand that you are trying to end things. If you tell them straight up what you’ve been thinking and feeling lately, then in the long run, they won’t be as mad at you for how you did things. They might actually appreciate it a lot more later that you didn’t sugarcoat it for them.
Do not, and I repeat not, get someone else to break up with them for you. That will, once again, make them feel like you had absolutely no care in the world for the relationship, and even if you didn’t, there are plenty of other respectable ways to end things with someone. You aren’t in fifth grade anymore, and it will most likely end up making you seem like a coward. It will definitely hurt their feelings a lot more and probably make their attitude towards you sour the minute they even think about you. This is not the way you want to go if you don’t want them to absolutely loathe you.
If you think cheating on them is a good way to go about breaking things off with someone, here’s a little secret: it’s probably not. Just like before, it’s probably going to make them hate you, to be quite honest. It’s not a good way to get your point across, it’ll just be seen as plain disrespect. After being in a relationship with someone, don’t you agree that they deserve a lot more than you cheating on them as a way of a break up?
Now that you might have a bit of an idea on what not to do when you want to end things with someone, let’s hope that you actually never do any of these. Everything would end so much smoother between you two if you did it in a nice, respectable way that they would eventually get over. Breakups are hard, but by doing any of these, you will just make it a lot harder on yourself.