Your social life is primarily driven from the friends you make during childhood, and/or at school. The university, college or high school social experience is very valuable to us, more than you might realize. No one has time to make friends in a professional setting, people are either, fighting for money or fighting the clock.
In the past 25 years of my life, I have moved roughly 5 times, from country to country, city to city. At the end of primary school, I was uprooted and moved to my now home, Canada. Adjusting to the very different lifestyle I was carelessly tossed in, it was very difficult for me. I was different. As we all know, young kids are free spirited, they say anything, and everything that comes to mind. My days adjusting to this new country wasn’t the best, I learnt what to do, what to say and how to act. As I got used to my surroundings, made a few friends and finally got into the grove of the world. I was moved yet again to another city.
This time, I am old enough where I am supposed to have that one best friend, that someone to constantly nag and harass. The first day at a new school, you walk the halls as everyone forms their tight little circles. These are the kids that have spent years of their lives together, growing up together. Boy was I envious, still am. This time, I promised myself I will not be the subject to bullying, what does a kid do when he doesn’t want to get bullied? He bullies. Now that I look back, I was the class clown; I would make fun of countless people just so I wouldn’t be the target. It worked, but are those people really your friends in the end? No.
Once I moved onto High school, I decided to be one of the quiet ones. I avoided the larger groups of people and stuck to myself or one or two friends. This is where I gained my first real friend, and how happy I was! We would hang out, go to the movies, and just have fun. Coming into our closing years in high school, our group was broken due to life choices, some matured, and some didn’t.
Off to college I go, and a new set of friends came into the picture of my small fractured life.
I attended college in a different part of the city I lived in. It was fairly far from home. During college, I had to finally put my head into my books if I wanted to make it somewhere in life. I chose friends accordingly, they were nerds. This group is what made me who I am today. College had shown me what it takes to make it. My entire professional mindset was developed and formed in college. I had a small social circle, that kept growing every semester, but my studies came first, and I excelled. Transferring to University, I decided to grow my social circle. For the first time in my life, I had people that I was constantly in contact with. I had plans, I went to parties, dinners, casinos, I hung out in parking lots arguing about what probability is. Ok, that last part may be a “huh?” moment for you, but it is those moments that we remember for the rest of our lives.
Sounds like life is moving up right? His life isn’t so bad after all you may say. But hold on, here it comes. Yes, moved again.
I am done with all my schooling. I am now in the midst of my career. Professionally I hunt every day to carve a piece of this world out and claim it as my own. That is all there is to do, or all I can do. I don’t know anyone around me. I am lost.
The decision to move was forced upon me by the adults in my life, after distraught events, they wanted to move. In the eyes of an adult, I guess moving doesn’t matter much, you get a new job that hopefully pays more so you can pay those bills easier and you have your company at home. But in the eyes of youth, you see your friends fade into the abyss the moment the plane flies above the clouds and the city disappears behind you.