Developing an attraction to someone? Easy.
Having them return that attraction? Not so easy.
The undeniable truth of the matter is that every person in this world, regardless of their wealth, status, and reputation, will be or have been rejected at some point in their lives. Communicating your interest and confessing your feelings are by no means easy things to do. Yet sometimes the strength of your passion is irrelevant, the force of the repelling magnets too great, even if one is desperately attempting to approach the other. It sucks, doesn’t it?
Although being turned down is never painless, a clean blow is always the most preferable. A polite and civilized telling to the face is all that is really required to let an admirer down nice and easy. This, however, is not always what people receive. Unfortunately, some forms of rejection are much crueler than others.
For instance, let’s take a moment to picture the following scenario, something that serves as a representative of verbally acidic rejections…
The rejectee, a mere child at the time, had his experience launched off at the setting of a middle school dance. You know, the type that schools may occasionally host as a graduation gathering before students head off to begin their high school journey. If you’ve ever witnessed or participated in one of these events, you are certainly familiar with the rather awkward atmosphere that occasionally takes over. At these dances, young teenagers sweat buckets while pondering over whether or not to approach their crush, whether or not to make that first move. It’s all supposed to be quite sweet and naive, really.
Among those students, one boy in particular had his attention fixated upon a girl whom he obviously adored. Ahh… Young love, right? Not exactly.
After standing by the walls for a solid half hour, he was finally able to summon up the courage to ask his crush to dance. But much to his disappointment, it did not yield pleasant results.
With a toss of her head, the girl looked him over with a sharply scrutinizing gaze, not bothering to conceal her obvious disgust. She then proceeded to say something along the lines of, “You have the nerve to ask me? What a nerd.”
She quickly rejoined her friends, who were all clustered together in a giggling and finger-pointing bunch.
It would be easy to take the girl’s young age and inexperience as excuses for her crude words. She was thirteen, she couldn’t have known any better, right? The thing is, people of all ages and levels of maturity use similar methods. Settings can also widely range from places like innocent school environments, to sites such as clubs, bars, workplaces… You name it.
As obscene as it is, many are even subjected to rejection that goes beyond oral disrespect. It is not uncommon for individuals to be led on and taken advantage of. Then once they have fulfilled their use, they are often times cast aside without given proper closure.
Coldness seems to be a universal approach when it comes to expressing apathy, but this doesn’t have to be the case at all.
When someone makes a request for your time, it typically means that they’re holding you in positive esteem. They’re interested enough to want to know you better. Whether the reason behind this be your appearance, personality, or natural charm, the fact that someone finds you appealing is a compliment in itself. So why go and throw that compliment back in their face?
Nobody is expected to go out with those whom they fail to possess feelings for, but it takes nothing to be kind. Gathering the competent amount of bravery to ask a person out in the first place is difficult enough as it is. The last thing anyone needs is to be shot down with more force than necessary.
Nowadays, too many people speak and act without considering the full impact of their doings. Harsh communication has great potential to be deeply damaging. Rejection delivered in a vulgar manner can easily inflict wounds upon an admirer, leaving them feeling inadequate, not good enough, and humiliated. There are ways of turning a person down without diminishing their self-worth, and the foundation of those methods is merely basic human courtesy.
So what if you’re on the receiving end of a rather rude rejection? How should you cope with being so terribly trampled over?
No matter what, remember that you are still the same person you were before. Being rejected by someone who was particularly lacking in the field of politeness does not change who you are. Thus, do not allow them to take away from your dignity and confidence. Instead of sulking through the days and contemplating your mistakes, know for a fact that the absence of kindness you received in response to your good-natured intentions was not the fault of your own.
Lift your head, hold yourself tall, and show the world that you are not to be crushed beneath the heels of others. Most of all? Don’t let your previous experiences of rejection hold you back from future romantic endeavors.
If you become interested in someone new and the only thing restraining you is the fear of repeated history, pay no heed. Although your share of profane rejections could have easily left a scathing mark, it’s important to remind yourself that a small fraction of the population does not accurately reflect the whole. There will always be people in the world who carry hearts of gold, people who have the decency to treat others in the manner they deserve. Those are the people worth your time, but you will never connect with any of them if you are constantly weighed down by the wrongdoings of others and the uncertainty of falling victim to them again.
Fear is a potentially dangerous thing. It can bare fangs, but it will only be able devastate if you give it the power to hurt you.
Handling the sting of rejection can be a difficult thing to do, a hard burden to brush off. Despite this, there are certain people whom you would fare better without the thought of. Letting go of those who cause harm and empowering yourself after being unjustly damaged will further cement your individuality and strength as a human being.